A Frustrating Farewell to Lucknow

Ahh, How I am going to miss my interesting Lucknowi neighborhood; a microcosm of modern India. I lived in the richest part of Lucknow with some of the most splendid new houses I have seen in the country. Famous Bollywood Heroin Ashwarya Rai has a mansion just down the street, with every luxury imaginable. But in the vacant lots surrounding the bungles of Lucknow's wealthiest are amongst Lucknow's poorest. Recent village transplants squat in these lots until they are kicked out and bring with them the country: compounds with tied up water buffaloes next several rows of growing vegetables and sari clad women cooking on wood fire chulas.

A little further down my street is another displaced village family that had built a little stand to wash and iron neighbors clothes. Initially, I had brought my clothes to the washerman, but soon discovered how alcohol was a higher priority to him than washing clothes. I had given him my bedsheets, but didn't get them back for a week. I visited the stand to find his wife frantically ironing a giant stack of clothes, she told me that he had drank too much (ANJALI AND HER SIBLINGS) and had gotten sick, which was a common occurrence. She could not have been older than 24 (her husband was in his early thirties), but her eyes were worn and sad. As she tended to the clothes and household chores, and as her husband slept off his hangover, her children played on the streets. The kids were a fixture in the neighborhood: the younger siblings were perpetually naked, playing or drawing in the dirt plot in front of their house or by the nearby market. I often saw the oldest child, Anjali, who is about five, running errands in the market for her family and taking care of her siblings. With a overworked, stressed mother and an absent father, these children essentially raise themselves.

Although I still hate their father; it is inexcusable to spend a large chunk of the family income on alcohol when your children are emaciated and live in squalor; it would be difficult to not find compassion for the family. Seeing that I had accrued quite a bit of items in the six months, I ended up giving the wife all of my kitchen supplies and some extra notebooks I had to Anjali, whose eyes lit up. Her mother told me that she loved to draw and told me that she wanted to be an artist when she grew up.

A couple hours ago, just as I was to get in my taxi bound for the airport, I realized that I had many extra pens and that I should give them to Anjali. I ran over to her shanty and gave her the pens and my final farewell. As I was running back to the taxi, I heard a frantic, 'Sir, Sir, Sir!' I returned to the gate of the plot she lived at, she had run into their families room to grab something. With a tremendous grin on her face, she presented me with one of the notebooks that I had given her. On her own, she had spent the day practicing writing her name in English and writing numbers up to a hundred.

As I sat in the taxi taking one last pass through Lucknow, I couldn't help but welling up a bit. I have no idea what is in store for Anjali's future, just from our interactions and seeing her work and dedication as a five year old, it is clear that she is bright. But she has all of the cards stacked against her in terms of caste, gender, class, and family support.

In the past six months, I have been so fortunate to meet many more Anjalis through my work with rural government schools. Although these children are amongst the most marginalized in India, they are brimming with love and curiosity. In the last month, I have been going out to student's villages allowing the opportunity to talk to them out of the school's purview and meet with their parents. As I have gotten to know these lovelies, I have found that most young children worldwide, they are untethered with ambition. These children want to be doctors, teachers, engineers, lofty ambitions for children of mainly illiterate farmers. They see the role that education will play in shaping their future and study with impressive diligence. But will they aspire to the goals they have set and escape the grinding poverty that they were born into? From what I have seen in my time in Lucknow, I am not hopeful.

Why? Easy.

Teachers don't care. I spent many days in government schools where I haven't seen a single teacher actually teach. I've been in a school where the teacher spent the day teaching English to her three year old son from the same textbook of the third grade class she was concurrently neglecting. At another school, one that we considered to be one of the best in our study, I saw teacher tell students to go out to the fields and pick vegetables for them. When they returned, the three teachers spent the rest of the day chopping their families' evening meal and ignoring their students. As much as I enjoy three middle aged, upper class women talking about what they like to cook and complaining about their jobs, I soon grew restless and decided to teach the kids myself. The kids were AMAZING, they hung on my every word while I taught them how to read time in English as well as a Hindi film song. When I had to leave, a group of children grabbed me and pleaded that I stay for the rest of the day to teach them. Sadly, I had to leave, but these children thirsty to learn, blocked the path on my way out. Another day, I arrived to the school to find very few children, the teacher told me that the children were always tardy and didn't care for their studies. I went house to house in the village gathering the children that I could and ending up walking back to school with Pooja, a bright third grade student that I remembered from a class that I had taught. As we walked through wheat fields on the way to school I asked why she was an hour late for school. She quickly responded, 'What is the value? My teacher never teaches.' A third grader. I had nothing to say. She was right. The children are not the problem.

Most parents don't care. Most parents in lower classes see the short run gains of having their children work in the fields or shops and thus bypass the future economic opportunities. I've talked to them, they know that that government schools are bad, but they don't have the capital to send their children to private schools. This is obviously a larger socioeconomic problem; as much as I know that every child deserves a high quality education, who am I to tell a family of eight living on less than two dollars a day to send their kid to school? Food, shelter, and clothing obviously need to be in place for a child to make use of an education. The degree of poverty in some of the villages I have seen in UP is overwhelming. I could tell you about the families of six sharing a fly infested 80 square foot room or the distended bellies of children living on a daily diet of two chapatis and achaar. I could go on and on, but I've heard this before much like how terrible the schools are in India. I tisk-tisk and shake my head, as we all do, but when you see this poverty in person and how it cripples the childhoods of millions, it slaps the sleep out of your nights. These children are born into this life, just as we are, nobody has choice in the matter. But for these children, those from lower castes and classes, they are born unwanted by the society that receives them, they have no choice to be born into poverty. It is not their fault. The children are not the problem.

The government does not care. The Chief Minister of this state was born unwanted, untouchable, and after a career as a government elementary teacher was elected to take the helm of the most populated and one of the most destitute states in India. Every indication of hope that things might change right? I live next to a sprawling park, a sprawling 200 million dollar (DOLLAR) park. The park commemorates, much the many of its ilk that stain this city, the ascendancy of megalomaniacal Mayawati. But in the 14 year wake of victory, nothing has changed in the schools, nothing. If a Dalit, former teacher cannot empathize with her kin and make strides to ensure that all children have a chance to learn, I honestly don't know who will. Children have absolutely no power in this society and obviously no political voice. The children are not the problem.

Children are not the problem, the main problem is the adults surrounding them that continue to fail them.

I guess the more nuanced answer is the apathetic haze that sludges across the minds, practices, and institutions of this country. From the teacher that will take a month of medical leave to prepare her son for board examinations, thus bypassing her duties to her students. To the parents that don't organize and confront the terrible tax-draining teachers that do not care about their children. To the politician running on a ticket of education, then crumpling it promptly after elections and hope returns to haze. To the richer classes and castes that are constantly making sure that their children maintain their family's status and reap the benefits of modernizing India, but never looking below their balconies at the festering injustice. To the developed 'us', living in cultures that breed escapism and materialism that is not readily compassionate to the problems in the lower hemisphere let alone down the street. If there is a child anywhere in this world who is not receiving a quality education, that is not reaching their potential, that is being exploited, this is not their problem, it is an adult problem, it is all our problem and we all need to take ownership over it in some way.

I am heartened by the many whose paths I've crossed that have dedicated their lives to caring, but collectively we haven't reached a critical mass. In my adult life, I have seen or been part of dozens of innovative projects in India, well intended to make change towards a more equitable world. And sadly, I've seen very few that have been met with success. We can put computers in classrooms, we can give teachers trainings, we can set up micro-credit lending centers, we can do a lot of things. But if people only think of themselves and do not fundamentally believe in social equality, obviously these programs will have a minimal impact. Programs need to focus on changing attitudes before addressing the topical issues, but obviously this is a much tougher nut to crack.

I leave with a burdened heart, sagging on the thought that these amazing children will not fill my life with joy and inspiration every day. I leave shattered that I don't have the answers and didn't do more to fix the unjust society that they inherited. I know that they will alway play a role in my life and that I will continue to fight for them in any way I can. But obviously it is difficult to bear the thought that I won't be able play a larger role in their education and lives in the coming years. Uck, I miss them already.

Our Research

Sorry Folks,

I had the best of intentions to maintain my blog while working and living here in Lucknow, but, alas, time flies by, and memories of such intentions fade. BUT, I have tacked on this blog to my NY resolutions. Although I have had a mixed bag with my other two resolutions (orange fight in the Himalayas, like a snowball fight with oranges, total success, watching Tron dubbed in Hindi, total fail, I waited too long and it is no longer in theaters), I am feeling good about this one.

Alright first blog, about my research work. This won't be laden with chuckles, but I feel important, so lets hope I can hold your attention:

So I am working with Digital Study Hall, a project that uses advances in video technology to improve teaching quality in semi rural government schools. So why does teaching need to be improved? India government schools are pretty uniformly horrible, to the degree that if any parent that can afford to send their student to a private school will do so. This leaves the children most marginalized by society, in terms of caste, class, gender, locality, are stuck in the worst schools.

Oh my gosh where to start with the problems of public education here? As you can probably tell already, one of the most fundamental problems are the overarching societal discrimination in terms of caste, gender, and class that permeates through all of India's public systems.

There is the bureaucracy: languid, corrupt, ineffective, and completely frustrating.

There is also the institution of teaching, which is plagued with inept training, a lack of rigorous teacher selection, and a union that makes America's look like a perfect system. Teachers are fairly well respected and get paid pretty well here, but there is absolutely no oversight. I have actually heard here, 'What is the point of trying to teach well, when my paycheck comes in whether my students learn or not?' Teachers have a ridiculous amount of leave time, which, believe me they utilize. At all of our schools there is at least one, typically two or three that simply do not come to school. They are on medical leave, family leave, personal leave, which can accumulate to an entire year off. Additionally, the government views teachers as field workers for other programs, so much of the time, teachers are working on polio vaccination campaigns, voter registration, census duty, etc.

In light of all of these issues, we are working with teachers to improve teaching and student learning. Obviously there are good schools in India too, mostly in the private sector. One must not forget India's prominent educated class that has be dispersed in highly technical fields across the world. Our aim is to share those (Above photo from www.dsh.cs.washington.edu/)

best practices in the private schools with government teachers through our in-service training program. We partner with really great teachers in private schools, record their lessons covering state standard curriculum for all subjects, then burn them onto DVDs. We then give the DVDs to teachers in government schools, along with training and staff support (i.e. my great research peer, Esha, and me going out to schools once a week to monitor the progress of each teacher and offer feedback). The intention is not for the teacher to merely play the film while the student passively watches: the teacher mediates the content for their students, pausing to check for comprehension and infuse their own examples and styles into the lesson. Ideally through this process, government school teachers will start to adopt some of the aspects of good pedagogy from their private school counterparts. Check out our website for more info.

Overall, I think that the program has been a success, especially with para-educators who are appointed by the government to teach the lower primary grades and are given very limited training. We have found that the majority of the para-educators really have a desire to improve their practice and are very receptive to constructive feedback. And with this effort, we have seen dramatic improvements in teachers interactions with students, offering more examples, asking more questions , etc.

We also have seen how students are really receptive to our content. Recently we have been showing the films to students without teacher mediation and have been surprise how students have maintained focus throughout the lesson, self-managed behavioral issues, and worked through sticky aspects of the lesson through discussion, referencing available material, and actively engaging in activities shown through the DVD. In a couple interesting cases, we have seen students ask their teachers to use more techniques that they have seen in our DVDs.

Working with mainstream teachers has proven to be a bit more difficult though. I do believe that we have seen some basic change in teaching patterns in this demographic but it isn't as stark as with the para-educators. I think we hit a wall with the perception that they have already received training. Unfortunately, I have also seen the education that a government teacher has to go through, and it is just as bad if not worse than what is being provided in the primary school buildings. There are varying levels of investment in our participating teachers for sure, but troubles me is this perception that once a student teacher leaves their preparation program, the process of becoming an educator is over. It is of my belief that a quality educator is always evaluating their craft to provide the best possible education to their students. And what is more troubling for me is when I see teachers say that their students just cannot learn. I hear this time and again, but never hear how they might have to modify their teaching strategies to meet the needs of the students. It's more like, 'I taught them, it is there fault if they don't get it.'

There are obviously other factors at play. I often times hear, 'They are poor, they cannot learn.' Or, 'They are simple, village children, they cannot learn.' All of the teachers we work with come from high castes, they live in Lucknow, they would be considered middle to upper middle class. When I started to go through the class registers in our focus classes, I started to see only scheduled caste or tribal names, essentially the lowest strata of Indian society and a majority of female students. Additionally, all of the students live in the village in impoverish household. In other words, the backgrounds of teachers and students couldn't be more diametrically opposed. And if a teachers believes that a student cannot learn because of attributes beyond their control, e.g. locality, class, gender, etc., what incentive do they have teach in a rigorous manner or make use of a program like this?

The teachers that we work with are not bad people; I really enjoy their company and truly believe that some of them really do care about their students and respect their profession. They have an incredibly difficult job to educate India's most marginalized students through all of the obstacles that the central, state, and local government place on them. But what I cannot accept is teachers giving up or taking advantage of their position at the expense of their students' education, which I unfortunately see more often than not.

But to give you just a picture of how frustrating the job of research can be working in Indian schools, take a look at these fun facts:

- Indian government schools recognize holidays from all faiths, meaning a continual string of breaks. Many a time, I have arrived to a locked up school to realize it was a Shia or Parsi holiday that I have never heard of… Many students and teachers take the liberty to extend holidays for more popular celebrations (Dusshera, Holi, Deewali) for up to a week.

- Teachers acquire personal leave that they lose if they don't take by the end of the calendar year. This means many teachers take up two to three weeks leave before the Christmas vacation. They also do this fully aware that:

- Every year, the district or state closes all schools due to the cold. This year it was pretty bad, it got down to freezing temperatures, so classes were suspended for three weeks. Added to the personal leave and Christmas holiday and the week after the closure where students still did not come to school, there have been some schools where they children hadn't seen their teacher for over a month and a half!!!

- During harvesting seasons, it's not even worth it to go to the schools. Parent pull their kids to have extra hands in the field and attendance can dwindle to about ten students in a school of 200.

- There is considerable road work going on out in these villages, and some of the schools are linked only by one road. Since the road work is ill planned, far too often the road is completely choked of for the week or so it takes to finish the road.

- The most fun bit I actually learned TODAY, is that the majority of our focus teachers have been assigned to Census duty meaning that they will not be in the school for the NEXT MONTH. Added to this, this week they have been mandated to take test, therefore no instruction will take place, thus we cannot work with the teachers. SO, in the past three month, some student will have received maybe three weeks of instruction.

- I have also been informed that students will not come to school during the month of March, due to the potato harvest and the Holi festival. Parents pull their kids to have extra hands in the field and attendance can dwindle to about ten students in a school of 200.

Kind of hard to do research when their are no students are teachers in the actual building. It has been a mental exercise indeed thinking through how to navigate these issues. But more so, it is infuriating how all of these factors, from parent's perceptions of education, bureaucratic ineptitude, and teacher apathy, all set up the children that need the most support, most classtime, best instruction, to fail. That is something hard to swallow, but with the status of education as it is right now, I know that an NGO cannot be the only agent of change: there has to be a societal shift of consciousness in the entire society that values these children and wants to see them succeed. For now I am not seeing that shift and it breaks my heart…

So yeah, frustrating.

Getting Even More Mileage from My India Blog...

Well, well, here I am, back once again in the blogosphere to bother you with my random mutterings from abroad. If you haven't talked to me for awhile, you might be thinking, 'Is he in America? He must be back in America, right?' BOOM. I'm in Lucknow, smack dab in the middle of the subcontinent that I hold so dear to my heart.

So, as you can see from above, I spent about 5 months back at our school in the Himalayas, Ashram Paryavaran Vidyalaya. The last week of my stint in the hills, I found out about this incredible opportunity to do research for Digital Study Hall, a project which utilizes video technology to improve teaching quality in semi-rural schools. Due to India's new ridiculous visa regulations, I had to come State-side for two months until I could start the position. This yielded the most emotional months of my life, having to tearful goodbyes in the ashram, then tearful goodbyes in the States. Let me tell you, it's not easy have two feet firmly planted in different countries across the globe. For my own mental health, and for that of my family and friends, I need to pick a continent and stick with it.

But after a 50 plus hour journey to get to the Lucknow from America, landing down right in the middle of Uttar Pradesh, the sewage belt of India (a name I coined on a bus trip across the state where, I kid you not, the twelve hour bus trip, there was no reprieve from the stench of human feces). Lucknow is the capital of UP, one of the densely populated areas in the world; UP's population is half of America in a third of the landmass). In this seething mass of humanity you can find such things as… child marriage, high illiteracy rate, alarmingly skewed gender ratios, honor killings, dengue, caste-ism; name any social ill associated with India and you will find it here…amplified. (As a side, I also much mention Lucknow has historically been held as the bastion for the highest levels of sophistication in india during the Nawabi era, a distinction that is still present although rapidly eroding with onslaught of modernity. A blog to come).

But within this mess, there is a lot of beauty, namely those inspiring individual who have oriented their lives to changing the status quo. And I am surrounded by dozens of such people working on a project that could have a dramatic impact on not only education, but all of the collateral benefits that come with a quality, critical education, taking steps towards gender and caste equality, women empowerment, health, improved livelihoods and the like. It is hard to be in India, yet estranged from my loved ones in the Himalayas and the beautiful community we have created, but I am doing necessary work, and for now that feels right.

In the blogs to come, I will unfold our work and hope to introduce you to the amazing people that have become part of my life.

For now, I am trying to adjust to the Indian city life and living on my own for the first time (strange I've made it so long). The area I live in is called Gomti nagar, gathering it's namesake from the river that flows just down the road from my place. I have take up a little marble cave, the floor below our office at DSH. While I envisioned my own flat with a little balcony overlooking a park, my cave ain't too shabby. And starting to settling down now beats the prescribed methods of DSH in finding me an apartment to my liking (which was hours and hours of riding around the surrounding neighborhoods on the back of our nice, but reckless driving tech dude, Pratyush's motorcycle asking random people if they knew of any rooms for rent. Not one lead). Despite the downsides (the room is probably 80 sf and I share a bathroom with Ram Dev, who I have to let in the building at 6am everyday), there are bountiful pluses: free wireless internet, a bed, furniture, a nice kitchen, a short commute. PLUS I have a FRIDGE, sweet lawrd, I thought that I would without a cool storage for my time here, so I make sure to do my daily fridge pooja to venerate the machine that we so often take for granted.

The location is great too. We have two huge public parks down the road (one of which is one of the most ridiculous monstrosities that I have ever seen. Blog to come #4). Across the street is a mini mall, where I have already made friends with the grocery and underwear shopkeeps. Down the street is the Prerna school, where I will be volunteering at (Blog to come #5).

Our spot is also located in a really interesting area in that is the epicenter of bourgeoisie, but those bourgies need elaborate homes and the cheap labor that comes with them. Add that to the major public park project down the street, there are shanties in every conceivable unoccupied space around here. I love the contrast and spend my mornings sipping chai in the workers chai stalls. At night farmers come in with their produce, some of the freshest most beautiful vegetables I have seen. I am getting excited for my gas cylinder to come so I can start experimenting with my Indian kitchen.

Uck, this is getting mundane. I'll rap at you when I have something a little more substantial or hilarious to say.

Hope you all are well.

It's been too long...

I have been terrible about blogging lately, although I have been busy. To prove this to you, oh faithful reader, I present to you this catchup. Here's what you've missed, it's been a lot, so I will try to be brief. Stay with me…

- SAW TWO LEOPARDS: (well this happened within the first two days of my arrival, but I forgot to tell you). I doubled my leopard sighting quota set during my fellowship tenure AND gave me bragging rights over current fellow Charlie whose main goal this year has been to fight a leopard and has yet to see one. To make matters worse for Charlie, the day he left for good, there was a leopard sighting by our room. Poor Charlie.

- Saw Many Whities: APV has been flooded with foreigners as of late, fellows Charlie and Samir invited four other AIF fellows to the ashram, the non-native population ballooning to 7, an all time record. What do you do with so many foreigners? Take em on a difficult hike to an abandoned 100 year old temple to eat watermelons on the roof and look at massive dams.

- Forest Fires: It has been quite dry, a quality monsoon hasn't reached our foothills for two years. For this reason, forest fires have become a fixture, stringing the hills at night like fiery light on a Christmas tree. And with a lack of fire fighting infrastructure, the onus is on the villagers to tame the flames. So that is what we did with the help of a dozen village pals and some large branches to bat out the flames. We would lunge at the flames, hit them as violently as we could, then try to dig a trench around the flames. The most fun I've had in years, seriously.

- Midnight Log Chopping: Oh, should I divulge my culpability? Why not. I did something illegal with Charlie, Samir, Mohan, and Dheeraj bhai. So in the hills, it is illegal to both cut down trees and possess saws. We used the latter to do the former under the darkness and stillness of night, the perfect crime. Mind you, the tree was completely dead and of little use to our Mother Earth. It has come to great use in helping us cook chapati and heat chilly water.

- New Favorite Kiddus - I am so over Babitu. Now it is all about Sageera, who won all of hearts over after visiting her village. She was so excited to see us while also shy, she hit this sort of paralysis where she could keep her mouth closed or look anybody in the eye.








Close second goes to Sanya, who also won us over while visiting her village. Take as evidence this photograph: Charlie was holding her when she swung her right arm around my shoulder and chriped, 'Dosti, dosti,' or 'friendship, friendship.' Break my heart.






Have to give a shout out to Neha as well. The youngest of one of our cutest lineage, I have recently discovered her charms, which include a slight chubbiness and inability to keep her pants from falling down (two traits she's inherited from her brother Golu), and adorable and impressively coherent Hindi, mind you she is 2 and a half. Her gaffs are even more adorable: she can't pronounce her teacher's name (Jyoti), instead calling her moti, which means essentially fat girl.

Enough with the shameless cute kiddie pictures, back to radder things:

- International Rural Couple and Darling Offspring: So we are looking to start a new school in the Anand ji's ancestral village, Prabekh. I recently visited Prabekh to stay with Anand ji's brother, Poorna and his Dutch wife, Nina, who have produced what quite possibly could be the most adorable, precious child in the whole world, Deena (what a suitably cute name!). Deena speaks mostly Dutch with her mother, Hindi with her father, English when both of her parents are together, and Garhwali with her grandmother and other villagers. She is fluent in all, meaning she can melt the hearts in four languages, on five different continents, and a large majority of the worlds population. What power she wields!

Nina is a sweetheart, who made delicious breads daily and introduced me to all sorts of different Dutch spreads and delicacies. Their home is quaint and quite interesting: a sort of fusion of traditional Garhwali and Dutch aesthetics. I also got to spend time with Poorna, who like his older brother, is one of the most interesting charismatic people that I've meet in my journeys. We had a great time carrying water up and down to the house chatting. Oh! And I got to meet Anand ji's mother! She is in her nineties, I gave her the traditional hand-folded 'pranaam' and foot touch of reverence. I had to scream into her ear (she is almost deaf) how thankful I was of her inspiring sons. She said thank you, then something along the lines of, 'And tell my gawddam son to come and see me more often, I am going to die soon.' Eeee. Upon relaying the message to Anand ji, he confirmed to me that she had been saying this for the past 25 years and counting.

- Chad and Erin's Excellent Adventures: Ms. Erin Willig came for a month long stint in India. Although she spent most of her time in the ashram, we got out a bit right before she left. In this time, we received blessings at the mouths of two of the (arguably) most religious rivers in the world, Yamuna and Ganga, spent approximately seven thousand hours too long on mountain buses and shared taxis where Erin was vomited on three times (I was spared, suffering only collateral damage), stayed in the beautiful village of Sangeeta and Sanjay, two former APV teachers and gawked at the abundance of breathtaking completely wooden houses with intricate carvings, surveyed remote Himalayan valleys in the greenest place that I've seen in India (it actually looked quite like Scotland), shared a taxi filled with Gujjars(!), a caste of migratory Muslims that the Indian government has unsuccessfully tried to domestic over the past 60 years, discovered that the holy town of Haridwar (literally the doorway of the gods), was more like a doorway to roaches, 8 billion people, the garbage of 8 billion people, open sewers of 8 billion people, dysentery, and one dirty, dirty holy river (interesting to see how the Ganga get so dirty once it hits where it's worshippers live!), and covered 300 years of interesting Muslim history in 5 hours. Good, good times.

- The Hills are Alive: Ever since I returned from dropping Erin off at the airport, there has been a steady flow music, from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep. Take for example right now: Ram Lila, a performance of the Ramayana is going on in the village below, while the Imam screeches his call to prayer out on speakers turned up full blast. The speakers on full blast seems to be a common theme here, the two weddings that are going on both in the village above and below us are pumping the hottest Garhwali dance jams. The two vyas wallas also got the message as they chant out the Bhagavad Gita in Sanskrit and sing their prayers in the evening in different villages below the ashram. Essentially, these vyas wallas are Sanskrit pandits that have mastered the Gita and recite it verbatim to families that want to commemorate dead relatives in a procession known as Saptaah.

Alright getting a bit more banal. I shall retire and shower you with much praise for making it through this mammoth post. I will try to keep you posted more regularly for my final two months, perhaps I might even throw in a couple of intellectually stimulating, at least more so than cute kids and getting vomited on. I apologize.

Oh yes! One more thing. Looks like I am going to be a teacher. I have been accepted into WWU and Marylhurst University, so depending on who is willing to offer me a better scholarship package, I will spend the next two years studying education in either Bellingham or Portland, really excited. So, just think, one of these days, I just might be teaching your kids world history or helping them improve their English skills for all of the migrants that follow my blog. I caught the teaching bug in the ashram two years ago, so how fitting that I received the news here. These days, I also have the space in the ashram to get some time in the classroom and ponder over what it is that makes a great teacher, how to design effective, child centered curriculum, and how to engage kids to become self learners. I have a long way to go, but I hope that my experiences here coupled with a more formal education will yield good results. Will keep you posted.

Congratulations to our APV graduates!

... on their outstanding performance on the 10th Standard Board Exams! Out of our 9 students, 7 placed in the top most division in their school, Arun scoring second highest out of the males, Depali scoring second highest for the females. The remaining two scored in the second highest division. I am so proud of all of our graduates and how they are spreading the light of APV!

Generalizations of Indian Ridiculous Buses.

Ha, just when you thought that my true intentions of blogdom was to shamelessly post pictures of me with cute kids, BAM, I give you something of substance.

Well, not really, but at least this blog is devoid of any picture that would make you coo.

Now, I must concede that my realm of expertise is minimal, mainly lying within Pac-Ten football, the Portland Trailblazers, and certain types of hip music. I unfortunately cannot even add India to the mix given that what I mainly know is geographically situated in the North, a culture that is surprisingly different than the south of the country.

That being said, I occasionally catch a few cringe worthy generalization about India, about religion, poverty, snake charming, and the dabbling of orientalist exoticism. While there maybe some truth is some statements that I have heard, but it is almost impossible to make such generalizations, given that there are thousands of different sides of India.

That being said, yesterday, I had an experience the other day that definitely fit nicely into a stereotype; the shitshow bus ride. While I had been countering with my experiences in Uttarakhand, where, sure, the drivers are reckless, amped up on amphetamines, and hurriedly whip around dangerous roads at reckless speeds, but inside the buses tend to be pretty mild; no rooftop sitting, etc. This particular experience gave me pause about my refutation of such stereotype.

In the mountain, the bus provides a vital lifeline to anywhere outside the village. Meager incomes are preventative for most to purchase motorcycles or cars and rented taxis are quite expensive. Shared taxis are a bit more expensive and only travel short distances. Therefore, the majority are reliant on very infrequent buses and very limited in space. If one were to miss a bus, plans could be shifted for an entire day. This produces a certain kind of desperation in many a bus rider.

So this ride started casually enough, I caught an isle seat next to a dapper young man traveling from the plains. After a couple stops, an older man, presumably an old teacher, boarded the bus, the the young man in a flash, vacated his seat out of veneration for his elder. The very next stop, the older man got off the bus, but instead of the young man retrieving his old seat, a fat sannyasi pushed him out of the way, crawled over me and took the window spot. Sannyasis are pretty rad, they leave all worldly possessions, adopt an wardrobe of saffron robes, and take oaths to live a spiritual, typically ascetic lifestyle. When they are good, they are good, but my close proximity to Rishikesh, international pseudo-spiritual capital (e.g. the Beatle's lived in an ashram there for a time), I have met far too many fake Sannyasis out to earn a quick buck off spiritually incline, but Indian naive tourists. This Sannyasi was suspect; his numerous fat rolls could barely be contained by his robe, long tufts of body hair wafted through the taught saffron, wicked with profuse amounts of sweat,, intense eyes perched below his curly receding hairline. After a while, he tried to speak to me, 'Conetree?' 'Mein Amerika se aaya hun.' 'Name?' 'Chad.' 'Yew come India?' 'Han ji, Mein aajkal Bhaarat mein rahta hun.' Done. I was probably showing visible distain for the sweat marks he was leaving on my teeshirt, so he left the conversation. He instead pick out his cellphone from his purse and partook in a very loud and seemingly angry conversation.

During the Sannyasi era, the bus aisles were getting more and more crowded. I was getting worried that we wouldn't be able to pick up any more passengers, but we hit a sort of critical mass when all emptied the aisle for the roof. While some opted to use the ladder in the back, many more, vying for the coveted front or foot dangling side seats, used open window, pushing away the elbows of those lucky to obtain an indoor spot, jumping to the top. By the next stop, the aisle was again full.

As we approached the town, the Sannyasi saw an opportunity to be the first off the bus, he literally slided over me, luckily my body was covered with his sweat which made for an easy glide, and squeezed through the crowded aisle. I grabbed the window seat and a nice early-twenties lady with her adorable baby sat next to me. Oh, sweet reprieve.

At that moment, a very elderly man made his way to the back of the bus near my seat. It took me a while to notice a baby goat baaahing at his knees, the poor thing looked so confused and apparently hungry. The lady next to me had fallen asleep, and the goat utilized the opportunity to start eating her pants. I tried my best to shoo him away, but he kept coming back for more of that tasty saalwar. Eventually, the old man gave the goat a whack with his stick, which seemed to curb his appetite.

Gaining the window seat revealed the part of the journey that I love most, the breathtaking views of the Himalayas and Ganges. But it also revealed the unsavory bits of the window seat. "Raindrops on my arm? But it's sunny out. Wait, I didn't know rain could have orange chunks in it. Why does that Auntie three seats ahead of me have half of her body out the window? Oh yeah, she is retching out her morning paranthas…onto my arm. lovely"

There it is, it does exist, crazy shitshow busrides. I'll let that one generalization slide for the moment, while I clean off the auntie vomit and sannyasi sweat. (Sidenote: When I return home, I am starting a drum&bass techno dance band called Sannyasi Sweat)

Move Over Ritu...

All the hits are still here in the Ashram, talking bout Aju, Pintu, Swati, Sudha, Sandhiya, and of course, Ritu. But it just is not the same: all the kids are accustom to my love and attention, which has created high expectations and demands (that I show them tons of attention, that I put them on my shoulders, that I chase them around). Of course, I willingly abide, but it gets a bit irritating at times, even when it is Ritu.

Therefore it is with great pride why I am proud to present my very new favorite kid, Babita. Oh, my Babu, the sweetest child in the world. She is so shy, it takes me about 5 minutes to get her to even say her name. In any case, she appreciates my attention, but isn't persistent. Everyday, she waits right in front of where I typically sit in assembly, waiting for a hug. And that smile, baap re! Babu's the best.














Babu and Chad with Hair
Babu and Chad with No Hair

An APV Update! Finally...

Aaaahhhh… Right now I am writing from the porch of our new kitchen at APV, gazing upon the green, terraced slopes spilling into the valleys below and the fruit trees gently dancing in the wind. Bijli, the puppy that we had gotten right before my departure is now a bonefide two year old dog! And she is lazily sleeping in the shade in front of me, deaf to the darting birds making attempts at the stale chapati and buffalo milk in her food dish.

I have been back at APV for about two weeks, just enough time to realize how unreal this place is. It seems like just yesterday, I was making the ridiculous journey here from Dehradun (a full 24 hours, which included stints in an overnight train, a shared three wheeler bus, the WORSE bus ride of my life, a boat ride across the Ganga, a three km walk that took 2 hours [it is Kumbha Mela in Rishikesh, the largest annual gathering in recorded history to the likes of 300,000 people], then finally a jeep to APV. uck.uck.uck.). Time has little very little significance here, which is both nice from a personal point of view and terribly frustrating from a professional.

In any case many things have changed, albeit only slightly. Maneesha, or my little Chuha, our principal's daughter and resident child in our ashram, has become the most delightful young women. She now is in 7th grade (sweet lawrd), and has shed, confusingly for her age group, her sassiness. I can recall far too many instances such sassiness, where the wrong use a color while helping her one of her pictures would warrant two weeks of silence and cold stares. Now she is a bundle of smarts, cleavers, and so much of love. Thank goodness she hasn't grown out of the endearing traits that have earned the moniker chuha, or mouse. If you leave out anything of her fancy unattended, such as chocolates, books, brightly colored things, etc., they will be gone within minutes; swept away to one of her many hidden goodie nests clandestinely scattered in our home, Ganesh Bhavan.

The fact that children mature when you leave them for a couple years was quite unsettling for me the first week. I was uncomfortable with the Mohit's bass voice, Deepak's sporty new mustache, Priyanka's growth spurt. The kids that I would chase around the school and tickle, now are mini adults. Completely unfair. At least some of my favs, Sudha, Sandiya(s), Saurabh, etc, have not grown an inch, and maintain the same sweet and inquisitive innocence that earned them their high spots on my echelon of favorites (I know a teacher should not hold biases, but that is no fun). Oh, and sweet Ritu, my fav of favs. She grew an inch and mother decided that it was time for her to look more like her first grade peers (e.g. cut her hair like a boy). Still uncontrollably adorable and able to scale any adult to find a nice spot on their shoulders.

The teachers are doing well. Jyoti and Garima, who came right as I was leaving have definitely matured into their teaching craft. I have especially been impressed by Jyoti, her thoughtful lesson plans, her abilities in the classroom, and eagerness to learn. We all are bracing ourselves for the loss of Mansoora next month. Arguably one of the sweetest, hardworking in our cadre, decided, or well, her parents decided that it was time for marriage. Sir ji is Sir ji, as he has always been Sir ji. He has had much energy in working on projects in the school and community, while developing a philosophy on 'mindfields,' a network of energy that binds all people together and can only be accessed through meditation. Still trying to wrap my head around it, but it is interesting enough. We also have two new fellows here, Charlie and Sameer, with whom I have been sharing a room with and enjoying getting to know.

Meditation has been sluggish and frustrating, as with getting readjusted to the schedule. It has been particularly busy as of late; take for example a couple days ago, when a 3:40am wake up call flowed into a meditation, breakfast prep, a tree felling trip, loading heavy logs down treacherous mountain sides, a ridiculous trip down to the market to pick up 25 pounds of vegetables, dinner preparations, then a birthday celebration for Jyoti. Exhausting. I have been working in the class trying to develop cohesive, interesting lesson plans to catch up our kids on English skills. I am finding, though, that the language barrier can be frustrating. My Hindi has become terrible. Also in combatting the popular opinion of myself as a giant white play toy I have found that discipline can be an issue. I hope that over the next couple months, I can further refine my teaching skills in preparation for a Masters in Teaching program when I come home.

I also have made an important discovery: village women don't forget. When I left India last time, I had amassed a group of mothers in my favorite village, Kantoli, that treated me as their own. They were so motherly in fact, that they all gave me their phone numbers and demanded a call when I returned home to tell them that I was safe. Unfortunately, I was swept up with reunions and documentary film making. I didn't call. They definitely remembered.
To my defense, one of the first things I did upon my return was visit this village, for my mind often wandered to the bucolic idylls of Kantoli; the cobbled houses nestled between rolling wheat fields, the worn, beautiful, aged woodwork, and the kind and hospitable townspeople. Some of my favorite memories and favorite people live in this town.
When I made my way down the village, I found all of the women, with whom I was closest to, singing bhaajans and kirtaans together in a small room (idyllic right?). I became quite disappointed to find that their first questions where, 'Do you remember who I am?' and 'Why didn't you call?' I think I made amends with all of them, although it took quite a few hours, many cups of chai, and many more assurances that I would call them next time, to heal the wounds. Ack, always remember to keep your promises to village women. Always.

All I got for now. Very, very busy and very, very content.

Christoph's India Wedding

As I am sure many of you know, I planned my return to India and APV around my good friend Christoph's wedding. And those that know this info must also know about the peculiarities surrounding the wedding; so peculiar in fact, that the story has become my most favorite to regale.

If you have not had the pleasure to indulge in my regalement of Christoph's wedding, I will catch you up with the alegrabic equation below:

Chad + Christoph + UW Hindi Program + AIIS Hindi Program = Deep Friendship
Christoph + Brilliant Mind + Hindi = Christoph's Hindi Institute in Delhi
Christoph + Settled + Biological Clock = Desire for Marriage
Christoph + Cute Indian Gal = Crush
Crush + Christoph's Colleagues' Connections = Arranged Marriage for Christoph
Crush Being Muslim = Christoph's Conversion to Islam + Certain Medical Procedures
Sum of All = Christoph's Muslim Wedding! = च्रिस्टोफ की पागलपण

Now, this equation might be a tad confusing, and I entirely don't know what to make of my friend's very important decision. But I do recognize his incredibly thoughtful nature, so I am certain that the beauties and sacrifices of this union have been carefully measured and the gravity weighed. I can also understand the difficulty in meeting women in India given that in my two years in this great country I have made eye contact with only a handful of women, most of those coming from a celibate ashram. So, in a country where the majority of marriages are a compromise of parents, going through the proper familial channels to find a partner is still the norm. In America it is crazy. I guess this makes Christoph half crazy, but I still love the guy and support him wholeheartedly.

So I left England cultivating images of a beautiful crossroad of cultural celebrations and quite excited to see my first Muslim wedding. In many ways, I should have tempered my imagination, for it still was an Indian wedding, and I still quite dislike Indian weddings apparently no matter how white or Muslim they can get.

I shouldn't get ahead of myself, though. Upon arrival to Delhi, I discovered Christoph's flat/Hindi Institute had been completely taken over by quite interesting and compassionate family members from America. I really enjoyed getting to know these people a be privy to their quite beautiful encounter with Rani's (Christoph's wife) family. I was especially impressed how Christoph's father (who is one of my favorite people even prior to the wedding) embraced every aspect of the wedding experience, from hand feeding sweets to Rani's father, to Bhangra dancing with the reception's Yar contingent, to getting henna tattoos on his hands.

BUT, the rest of the wedding was filled with waiting, confusion, standing, paying bribes, offensive Imam diatribes, and a whole lot of dysentery, a lot of dysentery.

So Christoph is white, this should by now be established. There is a tradition in India for workers in the wedding service sector to ask for tips for servicing such auspicious occasions. Unfortunately his white skin effectively amplified this effect, making seemingly every person trying to get at his pockets. Some of the most memorable instances were when the bus driver that took the groom's party to the wedding ceremony in Jaipur asked for 11,000 rupees for a tip and hijra's 20,000 rupee demand. Hijras for those not as familiar with Indian culture, are castrated men who dress in drag and have a interesting place in Indian society. I don't know the entire background but I do know they are considered very auspicious for joyous events, weddings, new houses, etc. They are quite deft in finding such events and demanding exorbitant rates for there blessings. If you don't agree you get a curse. Apparently, you don't want a curse. Christoph got the two hijras to leave with a 500 rupee bill and a promise for more to come later. No curse for now.

Another interesting part of the wedding was the Imam that was arranged to oversee the ceremony. I later learned from a Muslim friend that there is a tradition for the crowd to give the Imam a small donation after the wedding. We had the privilege of having a very entrepreneurial Imam who saw a western audience as a prospective cash cow His way to woo us in his mind was to give a fiery, quite conservative tirade on how the world is converting to Islam. While most of us foreigners couldn't understand his hour long Urdu speech (thank God/Allah/YHWH for this), he did save arguably his most offensive bits for English. "I have been to Canada and the US. I have seen that most children do not know there parents' names, am I right?" Wah. The only enjoyable part of his time on the wedding platform was a song that he preformed brilliantly that has been etched in my heads ever since. "Sweet Medina, sweet Medina, sweet Medina, sweet Medina, very lovely." That was the chorus, sung to hypnosis for about five minutes. Every once and a while he would throw in an awkward tangent, "Medina very nice place for you and me, Medina is nice place and very green." Seriously, I cannot get the song out of my head.
In any case his plan backfired, not only did the Americans not pay him, or know that they had too, but Muslims in the audience did not as well.

Aw yes and the dysentery. Wedding food is infamous for production of gut explosions. Blame this on unsanitary preparation, mass production, and the way it sits out unheated for hours. I knew from the onset that I probably would catch something, but hours of waiting and standing does wonders for one's appetite, so I went in swinging, devouring plate after plate of biryani, delicately served to me by my three personal assistants (white people get the red carpet treatment at many Indian weddings). I went down, actually most of us Americans went down, even the iron belly of friend Luther, who prior to the wedding had been traveling around the tribal regions of Madya Pradesh, drinking the water, eating the food. After two days of unhindered sleep, a terrible fever and headache, and many trips to the loo, I recovered. I view it as an opportunity to work in my stomach preventing such problems in the future, but it was no fun. Especially when I wanted to spend time with the newly weds.

But if I had to do it all over again, I would. Christoph is a special dude and this indeed was a special wedding. It was such a pleasure meeting both families and in the brief moments that I got to share with Rani, she seems like a real catch, Great sense of humor, quite humorous and self-assured. I think that this arranged marriage thing just might work out. Rad.

My Only Photo of London...

Bmmr... Blame this to a load of dead rechargeable batteries, a wrong conversion plug, and a stingy me.

Wearing Ties and Washing Babies

Imagine with me, that I be an Oxford scholar: blue blazer coat of arms adorned on the right side, neatly ironed trousers, cleanly shaven, genteel speech. Well, first I would have to work on the accent. Apparently, I have been accused by a refined local of having the vocabulary, attitude, and accent of a sassy American black woman. I don't really know where that came from or if I agree, but in any case, I don't know if my tawdry speech would fly in England's premiere academic institution. In any case, while the prospect of going to school in England would have been laughable even a year ago, after falling in love with the UK and visiting the Oxford, it now does not seem so distant.

Craig Jeffrey is a fantastic scholar, the bulk of his work focusing on the underemployment of the young educated class of North Indian with particular attention to Dalit or untouchable class. His work has nuanced the conversation about the absolute utility of education as a development strategy put forth by my one of my favorite scholars, Amartya Sen.

Jane Dyson is a fantastic scholar. Her studies have focused on the work strategies of young people in the Himalayas drawn from a year and a half of very interesting field research following children out to the forest for collect lichen. She actually did her fieldwork quite close to the Ashram where I worked, just one district away.

Craig and Jane are married and both are at Oxford. Talk about your South Asia intellectual power couple!

Prof. Dyson and Jeffrey were at the University of Washington during my Hindi studies at the same institution and I was quite keen to work with them when I returned from my last trip to India. But, with budgets being slashed in the US, Oxford offered them an excellent opportunity to return to most prestigious college in their native country. Hard to pass up.

En route to a screening in Cambridge, I decided to try to meet the two scholars to talk about possible graduate work. They invited me to their home for what I had thought might be a brief and formal discussion turned into a quite pleasant evening.

After talking about their research, my academic interests, and possible programs, their one and a half year old son, Finn with his adorable mop of blonde hair and long, wrinkled face, wobbled out of his room after a nap. Then their little four year old bundle of joy, Florence, came bounding in from nursery school a little later, which pretty much extinguished our academic discussions. I quickly learned that two young children pretty much equals the entirety of your energy and attention.

But who cares, I got to play with kiddies! For some reason these children fell for my awkward charms and soon I was fishing in the pond with Finn and pushing Florence on the swing. Jane soon took her leave to go visit a friend and Craig was fast at work making dinner, so I was left to look after the kids. And let me tell you, Florence is no easy one to control, she knows how to get her way. And with her sweet British accent and button nose, it is pretty hard to fight it. So I spent the next half hour trying to keep Finn from wandering back into the house while keeping Florence occupied with a frisbee. Eventually, I had to convince young Florence the merits of going potty inside instead of in the bushes with only marginal success.

After supper, it was bath time for both the kids. While Craig tended to Finn, I was put on Florence washing patrol. Considering that I have never washed a child before in my life and given that my the parents of this child might be my graduate advisors, I found the experience a bit strange. But, you must admit that the level of trust place upon me during the first meeting is pretty encouraging for getting into the program. Or else they are vetting out prospective students unable to babysit for them.

After the kids were wrapped up in their jammies, Florence demanded that I read her a bedtime story which I did graciously, given the that picture book that she wanted was about children growing up in Scottish fishing towns (swoon!). When I finished reading the story and started making my goodbyes, Florence asked, "Are you going to be here in the morning?" I replied that I was staying in a hostel and would be leaving for Cambridge the next day.' Apparently, with my thick American accent, she thought I said I was headed to Sainbury, which is the local supermarket, and replied, 'Well after you bring back the groceries tomorrow, then could we play.' Cute. When I finally established that I would be leaving the UK soon, she said, 'You like it here, you will be back, and we will play.' After my couple days in Oxford, I wouldn't mind if she was right.

(PS- ignore any mistakes in the above blog. I started writing this in London but now am in India and have been awake for almost 45 hours now.)

City of JOY

Thank god for hair dryers. As I began to blow-dry the crotch of my jeans, dampened by cheap beer and a faulty couch, in a room full of uber-hip lesbian artists smoking cigarettes and dancing to Lady Gaga, I couldn't help but think about the contrast to the night prior. In my final night in Aberdeen, Rowan, her boypal, sweet little Avery and I enjoyed an actually overwhelmingly competitive game of playdough chirades and an early bedtime. Both experiences definitely had there merits: While I enjoyed the spirits and dancing in London, a couple hours spent chasing buses at 1am made me long for the early bedtimes in Aberdeen. Not to mention the consistent dryness of my trousers.

So I am in London now staying on the couch of my girlfriend's best friends brother, Than, who is in art school at London and has slowly become one of my favorite people on earth. Mildly flamboyant, super intelligent, and utterly lovable, sigh… Inspired by the mighty Than I have decided to adopt his nomenclature in describing the laurels of this amazing city; things joy/things not joy. Beautiful.

Here we go:

Things that are London joy:

- A sneaky collusion of all of Chad's joys!

My first day, I decided to romp around Brick Lane in East End. Stepping out of the Tube, I was transported into this weird 18th century Bangladeshi neighborhood. South asian geekout. check

Further down the lane, South Asia gives way to Hipster Haven and I stumbled upon this huge and amazing vintage clothes weekend market. Hip clothes shopping. check.

Adjacent to the market was a custom bike frame shop where I spent an hour gabbing about bikes and Portland to a very friendly tech. Bike geek out. check.

THEN, I grabbed a beer and sat down on the footpath to watch the parade of beautiful hip people seething and sauntering through the crowded streets. Public drinking. check.

THEN, I wandered through Rough Trade East, one of the best record stores that I have been to since Amoeba in SF. Music geek out. check.

THEN, I had THE BEST cup of coffee in my life prepared by the 2009 Swedish Barista champion. World class coffee, check.

THEN, I rounded out my day with an amazing photographic exhibit of 150 years of South Asian exhibits. South Asian Art geekout. check.

A joy explosion in the very first day.

- Good Ol' British History.

Yesterday, we went to Than's dashing and debonair boyfriend's presentation at the Dulwich Picture Gallery. Jordan whole presence oozes of academia, from the tweed jacket, dry wit, to his wide array of collared shirts and blazers and endless informative interjections. I absolutely love it. After the talk, which made the forty or so aristocratic housewives in attendance audibly swoon, Jordan took me on a walking tour of old London, the bits and pieces that I thought too pedestrian and tourist-y for my refined traveling palate. But checking out those spots with a very excited 18th century Art Historian made his kind of sightseeing actually really fun. I saw all the hits: St. Paul's Cathedral, Houses of Parliament, Buckinham Palace, St. James Palace, Westminster Abbey, Trafalger Square. You name it, a scholar told me the significance of it. Awesome.

Not London Joy:

- Lack of Grid System.

Damn those 10th century planners who did not have the foresight of a urban grid system. Any place I want to go to, I have to allot at least an hour and half of being hopelessly lost in these unintuitive, narrow roads. I bought a map yesterday and have found that it has only been of marginal help.

- That Chad Robertson doesn't live there. Oh how grand that would be!

Scotland's Charms

Well, I should be in India right now, right? So then why has my great blog resurrection yielded my first posting from a cozy pub in the northern coast of Scotland? Well, you have my good friend, Rowan, to blame for this. Alternative pedagogy and cutie kiddies will have to wait. For now, just charming coastal towns, old world charm, and sweet, sweet cask ales. Not too shabby.

I studied with Rowan at the University of Washington during my Hindi days and, brilliant and impressive as she is, has taken a fabulous three year research fellowship at the University of Aberdeen. I have really wanted to see Rowan for a while, so I used a screening of my documentary film as an excuse for a two week romp around the British Isles. The attendance for today's screening was modest, and thankfully so, due to so major technical malfunctions. By the end of the screening, that modest crowd was watching the film from my laptop. BUT, the crowd was pretty into the film providing some interesting Q & A.

But, like I said the real reason for coming was to spend some quality time with Rowan and her brilliant and sassy 5th daughter, Avery, who has been showing me around the forest by their apartment giving me a rigorous werewolf training. She is ridiculously adorable; outside the eye of her mother, she will flip into her Scottish accent which she uses with schoolfriends. Despite only being here for about 7 months, her accent is near flawless. Super cute.

First observation about the UK: It is OLD. When I see a building from the late 18th century in America I about faint. Here that's nothing. Take for example, Rowan's apartment, it is a converted army barrack built 150 years ago, pocked by Nazi blitzkriegs during World War II. (other things that makes Rowan's place ridiculous: it is directly adjacent to a immaculate golf course that hosted the Women's British Open a couple weeks back AND is about a ten minute walk to the sandy North Sea beaches). Rowan's office is in a tenth century building over looking the first campus building, a beautiful 6th century church. In fact, wandering around the narrow, cobbled paths of University of Aberdeen feels like being transporting back to a 10th century town. Ridiculous.

Second Observation: Scotland is overwhelming charming, the kind of charming that makes you want to suspend all of your ambitions, purchase a cottage out in the country and live out the rest of your life herding sheep and eating pub lunches. Overly romantic? Perhaps, but you try driving through the pastoral land budding up to breathtaking craggy cliffs, strewn with cobbled cottages and the ruins of 14th century castles. See what that will do to you!

Rowan has been the most gracious host, finishing up her work early to show me around. Yesterday we went to Stonehaven, a quant, coastal town a short walk from Dunnottar, a gorgeous abandoned castle. The stroll was perfect: we snaked along the coastal wheatfields, crisp blue skies and brilliant sun shining down upon the farmers work and the endless North Sea. The Dunnotar fort stood atop of a prominent peninsula, sides battered into interesting and beautiful cliffs from years of abuse for the sea. Unfortunately, the castle was closed, so we snuck around the back side to see if we would be able to breach the high walls like the Jacobbites had done a couple hundreds of years ago. We found a vulnerable spot, scaling a quite sketchy face, but as we climbed higher, the fall became more dramatic. But the more dramatic the climb became, the more broken beer bottles we found. Eventually we decided that we would leave the contemporary invasions to young, fearless, and drunken Scots. No need for an ER visit at the beginning of my trip. Instead we decided to catch up on the beautiful stony beaches that lay below.

After our walk, we decided to head to the pub for a fish supper and a pint. It is probably a good thing that I don't live in Scotland for I would spend all of my time in pub: 12 beers on tap, 8 on cask, darkly lit with cozy fire place, gregarious, portly barkeeps who bring out your meals revealing their 'chip stealing tendencies.' Perfect. Oh, another very important observation. Fish and chips in America are a sham. In the UK, you get a whole fillet of white fish, deep fried perfection; the forearm sized piece of fish can barely fit on the dish. Needless to say, after devouring my plate, as well as a couple pints of delicious cask beer, I was in dire need of a nap.

Observation 3: British food isn't that shabby! I had definite preconceptions of bland British food, but am finding the local cuisine quite tasty. Rowan has been an amazing navigator, cooking us delicious meals nightly. Favourites thus far include steak pie and toads in a hole (worshire pudding with haggis and blood pudding sausages (!)).

Sipping my pint here in the pub right now, it's dawned on me that it is going to be ridiculously hard to leave Scotland, definitely my favourite spot that I have been outside of India. Excited to explore a bit more before heading down to London.

Blog Revived!

Hello All,

Just letting the word out that I am going to revive my long deceased blog to document my upcoming trip to the UK and return to my ashram in the Indian Himalayas. I am a bit busy preparing for my departure on Monday but more to come soon.

C.

Chad's Hillstation/Ashram/Village/Vipassana Birthday Bonanza.

School's closed. Teachers are leaving. It is very sad looking at the empty playground and listening to the silent sounds of the ashram. The early monsoon is bringing back dreary memories of Washington winter depression. So, now the Chad that wanted no more than to stay in the ashram forever is gone for the moment: I am pretty content with my travel plans for the next month.

So I set out to Kausani with one of the ashramites, Ruchi. I tried to keep count of the times that Ruchi vommited on our winding, excessively long (16 hours via 3 different shared taxis and two buses) trip through the Himalayas; I lost count at twenty, the poor thing.

But we made it to Laksmi ashram an all girl boarding school founded by a British disciple of Gandhi. The school is essential a British hill station bungalow set on an expansive plot of vegetable fields, flower gardens, cow sheds and the like, completely surrounded by untouched pine forests. The school is basically a child's haven for about 60 girls ranging from 1stgrade to 12th. They are taught in the school and also responsible for rearing the cows, farming collecting wood, etc for the ashram. Ruchi parted after the first night, but I stayed for a couple more days which actually coincided with my birthday. The beautiful ashram povided me definitely with one of the most memorable and special birthdays to date.

So basically I found out that it is not just the children in our ashram that like me, apparently my likeability with children is pan-Uttarakhand. Within probably a half hour they were at complete ease around me as I was with them. The first morning, I joined about 20 girls to gather firewood in the forest, well I didn't really have a choice, some cuties, Pooja and Diksha grabbed my hands and led me to the forest, giving me a rope to tie the wood that I would collect. Diksha was adorable, she could not pronounce my name correctly, it came out 'child' so she was leading me through the forest saying, 'come Child, come Child.' The forest was covered with fallen pine needles, so it was pretty treacherous, but the paths that Diksha chose were ones where she slid down on her side, a big load of sticks on her shoulder. I basically just fell down these paths sending sticks everywhere, bloodying my hands and delighting of all of the girls watching me from down below. We then tied our stash into about twenty pound stacks which we then carried back to the ashram. The girls were also delighted to see the awkward whitey carrying the heavy load on his head. After we got back, it was wool spinning time, an artifact of the Gandhi influence on the ashram. It was really difficult for me and one of the girls basically spun most of my wool stack, but gave me encouragement whenever I got it a strand right. During this time, they found out that I knew how to sing some of the songs of our school. My mentor, Anand ji, has written over 40 songs that the children sing daily in the assembly, and he had actually come to Laksmi Ashram and taught them a few songs. He had also given them a song book of his songs which they shoved in front of me telling me to sing them. So basically I had to sing two or three songs, completely in Hindi for about 80 people. Pretty embarrassing but they seemed to enjoy it.

After that I took a break from the ashram and kiddies to check out Anasakti ashram, where Gandhi has stayed and written the book where the ashram got its name. The ashram is at one of the highest points of Kausani where I saw the most spectacular view of Himalayas that I have ever seen.

Then it was back to the ashram where I spent the afternoon climbing trees in the cool forest, picking kaphal, this moutain fruit that is like a raspberry cherry with the girls. In all honestly I must have eaten about 400 of these damn delicious berries; the girls folded their salwaars making little pockets in the front and were constantly forcing berries from their stash down my throaght.

As the sun went down, we went back to the ashram for evening prayer. When prayer concluded, one of the teachers asked me to give a presentation in front of all of the girls about my life and 'aims.' I said in my best Hindi, which is still pretty bad, that Lakshmi ashram was a very special place and that I had an amazing time working and playing with the children. I said that in the whole world, Lakshmi Ashram was my second favorite place only after my ashram and that the experience would stay in my heart forever. Then a couple girls stood up and gave speeches filled with hyperboles about how great I was. After all of the nice words, about 15 of the younger girls surrounded me and gave me hugs. They said not to forgot them and their berries when I left and to come back as soon as possible. Break my heart. Best B-Day Ever!!

But I am coming back sooner than they expected. I was invited to a village wedding in Kausani so I will be going back in a couple days. I plan to spend the whole day playing with the kids then go to wedding at night. I can't wait.

I realized just after leaving the ashram that I hadn't spoken a word of English the whole time I was there and could fully communicate with the girls, there was very little lapse in understanding. Quite honestly, the last year of rigorous Hindi studies paid of fully for the experience I had in being able to talk with the girls teachers in the ashram.

And more days of only Hindi speaking in sight. I will be staying with two friends that know almost no English in their village with their parents who I assume are in the same position. Here is a schedule of the rest of my time here.

Friend's village visits:
Ashramites Ruchi and Vimla are from villages in Kumoan. Uttarakhand is roughly split into two regions based on language and ethnicity: Garhwal and Kumaon. While I have lived and travelled in Garhwal extensively, I know nothing of Kumaon and am looking forward to the ridiculously hospitality I am about to receive.
Almora/Nainital:
These are two famous hillstations of the British Raj. Admittedly, I have a space in my heart of these vestiges of British Colonial rule. I love living in the village, but the American in me also like to kick back with a beer in an old British clubhouse watching socialites and white collar tourists playing golf or yachting on the lake.

Ashram:
A million miles away, after I am through with my indulgence, it is off to Rishikesh for a retreat with a Swami that I met a couple months back. He is actually Belgium, who has spent considerable time in a Christian monastery, became disillusioned to a certain extent, embraced Hinduism, became a Swami, and now runs an ashram. Although he is Hindu, he holds very inclusive religious views; at the inauguration of the ashram, monks of several faiths were invited to celebrate and chant together, the alter in the meditation room displays statues of the Buddha, Jesus, and Shiva. I draw my religious views from multiple traditions and I am excited to sit down with him a while and live in their community.

Vipassana:
Vipassana is a form of Buddhist meditation, typically associated with Hiyana buddhism practices in SE asia, although it is practiced by many regardless of faith. I am going to participate in a ten day silent meditation retreat in Dehradun. Ten days in complete silents, no outside stimulus in the forms of books, pencils, television, etc. and 12+ hours of meditation might sound a little intimidating, but I feel prepared enough for it. My meditation has been stagnating as of late and hopefully this will give me a boost; when I meditate in my ashram, I always have something to look forward, my bed, the day's work, the children, a book, but there it will just be me and my thoughts. I also have a lot to figure out about what I am going to do when I get back, so the reflection I believe will be helpful.
Then back to the empty ashram.

Then off to Corbett National Park, a famous tiger reserve to meet up with the rest of the fellows. Luckily it is located in Uttarakhand, so I can swoop back up to the ashram for another couple of weeks with the kiddies and friends, then it is back to states. My plane ticket is for the 23rd of July. Gawd, this year has flown by.

The New Recruits

Today, some of the teachers and I set out on a PR and recruiting mission to find some more students for next year's enrollment. We set our sites on Ghoghas, a village of about forty Muslim families very near to the school. We only have one student from the village which is a terribly low number for the village's close proximity.

The village was really strange. As in most areas in the mountains, there is a strong current of out migration by the male members of the village. No different in Goghas, but the interesting part about this town is that the Muslim status of the men give them a easy pass into jobs in the Near East (mostly Dubai, Iraq, Iran). The international stamp on this village is seen through have every man that you encounter (rare except if back on vacation) speaks impeccable English. This differs considerably from the Hindu villages that I have been to where it is just Garhwali and Hindi. In any case, these jobs are very lucrative which can be seen in the constructions of their homes. The composition of most of the Hindu villages around here are of the traditional (beautiful) stone homes with slate roofs. A sign of affluence in the village is the standard brick/cement monstrosities that predominate popular Indian architecture. With remittances flowing in, almost all of the homes were exactly of this boring ebb. There were maybe two traditional houses that I saw.

To exemplify this strangeness, take the case of Khadir. We meet Khadir actually in a traditional mountain house on the porch with his father, an elderly man completely in Muslim garb, kurta pajama, white cap, long beard, red checkered scarf. His father was smoking a probably fifty year old hookah, heated with wood coals, sitting on a haystack right next to his water buffalo in his courtyard. Pretty traditional, right? Khadir on the other hand, was was wearing Levis, a tight army shirt, gelled hair, and cologne so strong that we could smell him two houses away. The moment that the first word left his mouth ('man'), I knew that he had a lot of American friends. Every other word was 'man' or 'dude,' flavored with a 'know what I mean?' here and there. Khadir actually is a baker working for a Near East company, providing services to American troops in Iraq. Since he can't leave the army compound for the sake of not getting killed, he is dependent on the troops for friendship and has befriend many Americans, who gave him the new vocabulary, the new shirt, and presumably awkward, unbefitting strut that he tried to pull of. Khadir was great though, very kind and gentle. He was really impressed by the school and took us to many of the homes. By the last home that we visited, Khadir was actually doing all of the convincing to the families.

But we were able to recruit six students from this village. We picked up another two beautiful children from a family living slightly above Ghoghas. The exciting part of this recruitment is that us teachers had barely any part in it. One critique of the school has been that we do not have enough contact with the families of our students, which we couldn't deny a year ago. During the early years of our school, the parents really couldn't understand what we were trying to do and because of this, made them fearful. Many parents took out their children out of the school (enrollment was about 250 about four years ago, it is about 80 now). But since my arrival, we have been trying to make a concerted effort to bring in the parents to their child's education. We weren't sure how our parents have been perceiving our unique pedagogy, but through village visits recently, we have found that many families are quite pleased with our teaching methods and strong allies. Therefore, the have included the parents of our children into the recruitment process. We took four parents along with us to Ghoghas and they were amazing. They described the school, defended critiques, and ultimately persuaded parents to send the children. It was beautiful to see the turn around. It was also beautiful seeing these parents, all women, eloquently navigate the treacherous paths to the remote homes of perspective students. I have noticed that typically when an Indian woman leaves the house, even to do mundane things like shopping or traveling, she will look her best. These women were dressed in beautiful new saris and their finest jewelry, traversing rocky, steep, dense paths; paths that even my outdoorsy friends would wear hiking boots are at least shoes to travel on, these women were wearing flipflops. Amazing.

The content of the new students really pleases me as well. Right now we only have two or three Muslims in the school. Six of the new students are Muslim. Also the two Hindu children come from Harijan or untouchable background. Don't be fooled by the imposed name; all of the untouchables in our school are the cutest children and thus the most touchable. It was strange interaction, coming to that house. All of the people we were with were from higher castes than the father, so he would not offer of us chai, as for it would pollute the higher castes to receive chai from a Harijan. I was longing for a chai after the long hike; he could have at least offer the other Harijan, myself (those outside of the Hindu faith and do not have a caste are also untouchables) some chai. Actually, that is another terrible thing about India is that foreigners technically are untouchables, yet it has been my experience that I get unnecessarily exulted almost everywhere I go; people offer me chai, sweets, friendship, all sorts of things. But for many they will treat the untouchable down the street as if they were a feral dog.

This caste discrimination used to be apparent in our school, some of the students taken out of the school in the beginning because we allowed untouchables into our classrooms. But after four years of the intervention, caste has melted away. One day, I asked a friend about the caste of some children during recess. As he rattled them off I was surprised to see that almost for every Harijan that he pointed to was playing with a Brahmin, the highest caste. In terms of religion, the Hindu/Muslim divide isn't very big in our village. It is a problem in the cities where Muslims are treated like second class citizens and outwardly and inwardly discriminated against daily. But in the village it is a bit more relaxed, and it is so small that everyone kind of needs to get along to make it all work. Plus, in terms of economic status, the Muslims are on a higher rung than most Hindus with their foreign money. You couldn't even point out who is Muslim in our classrooms, they are fully integrated in our school.

Unfortunately, there is a group of students that haven't integrated as well. APV has received a growing number of Nepali children. Because of an open border with India, many Nepalis have settled in Tehri Garhwal, predominately picking up manual labor jobs. Many Aryan Indians in the mountains have met their growing presence with discrimination and xenophobia. For example, schoolteachers are notorious for beating the Nepali far more than other children. Our reputation for equality and non-violent classrooms has been a pull factor behind the influx of new Nepali students. Also, one of the APV teachers is Nepali herself, which is a large source of pride for the local Nepali community. But recently, two parents pulled their children from Kindergarten and third grade citing that the ‘Nepali students were corrupting their children.’ This is obviously an unfounded discriminatory rant. Their is one Nepali girl in the third grade, Sunita, who is probably the best mannered child in the school. If she were to say anything corrupting I would be shocked. As for KG, that is just absolutely preposterous; the children Pintu and Aju are so innocent and sweet. Furthermore, our teachers are responsible, if there was any 'corrupting' behavior, they would not let it continue. But even in the school, children tend to group along ethnic lines, there hasn't been the same integration between the children of different castes and religions. But the younger children seem to mingle a bit more freely, if we can set a precedence at younger ages of tolerance, hopefully it will build on itself. It takes time.

In any case, I am really grateful for our new recruits, I believe that they will be a great addition to our loving community.

catch up

So here is my last two months in shorthand (in no specific order of importance):

- I lost two bulleted lists of the events that happened in the last two months that I wanted to share with you (and yet I endeavor on).

- A moth flew into my shirt while I was sleeping, providing me with what might be the most terrifying wake of my life.

- I wore shorts to bed WITHOUT socks, I made it through the winter, an achievement that I regularly pat myself on the back for.

- A film crew came to the school to shoot a documentary. Two days of non stop filming from 4am to 11pm, quite possibly the most exhausting days of my life.

Side Story Digression: On top of that my 'friend' from Jodhpur that I met two years ago during my internship with Rupayan Sansthan decided to give me my very first stab in the back by a friend. So I had asked for his help on the film not because I need his expertise (we were going to hire a camera, which in India comes with a camera man) or equipment (I have basic editing equipment on my computer), but because I wanted to spend time with him and his family when we were to edit the film. I thought that he was on the same page until the last day he told me that he wanted the copyrights to the raw footage that we shot. This opened up a pretty ugly fight between him and the ashram placing me firmly in the middle. I calmed things a bit by yelling at him, but he ending up taking the raw footage. Now I had spend the next couple weeks plotting about how I could get the film back and wonder why he would try to take advantage of my friendship and an ashram of selfless individuals.

- Friends Jimmy and Ben reaffirmed my trust in humankind by agreeing to help me edit the film in the US and giving me many nice letters.

- Spent 28 hours on a train from Haridwar to Jodhpur 5 of which was spent in standstill. For those have been to Rajasthan, the scenery gives about as much as if you were to stick a couple branches in your childhood sandbox. But I did see at least 100 beautiful peacocks which was nice. I also saw at least ten gazelle looking things and some wild donkeydeer hybrid things (I'm not much for nomenclature, I apologize). The beauty of Rajasthan truly lies in it's people, with the women's colorful dress and abundant jewelry, to the Rajputs with their large turbans and larger mustaches. It lightened my heart to see my favorite sight in India once again, the Rajput, dhoti and all, carrying milk jugs on his 50's style bicycle. Although the beauty of the mountains is breathtaking, nothing beats an old Rajput on milk duty.

- Spent way to long at my friends house editing. He seemed to care more about his projects than helping me with mine, so I eventually left without editing the film as we intended, but I finished a 7 minute trailer (which I hope to post soon on the website). The whole experience was frustrating, but at least I did get to spend some time with his mother who is an absolute sweetheart, and brush up on my Indian copyright laws.

- Next I went to Jaipur where I gave a presentation about the APV school and my experience in India to the study abroad program I did two years ago, at the Minnesotan Studies in International Development (MSID). Quite interesting that the quietest person in class was the only to come back to give a presentation to date, and no less about Hindi, when I had by far the worst Hindi in the group (my inability to pick up the local language was notorious amongst my peers in the program; they deemed me, quite offensively but nevertheless not without a grain of truth, the 'hindi tard.' jerks). But it went well, it was great to see my old teachers, and the current class seemed enthused about the class and wanted to help me show my film in the US.

- In Jaipur I got an email from a friend who I did the MSID program with and traveled together after the program. In Sarnath we attended a Tibetan Buddhist ceremony where the Karmapa, the second highest Lama in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition (after his holiest, the Dalai Lama) had blessed us and wrapped a red string around our neck. He said that when the string fell off it would signify that auspicious change would come into your life. Hers had just fallen off, which coincided with the possible entrance into a great Med school program after being rejected the first round. Maybe about an hour after responding to this letter, my string fell off while drying off from the shower.

- And what auspicious events followed the parting of my holy thread? No med school, just Delhi belly, depression, and a filthy bout of heat exhaustation. Maybe no one has gotten the message yet that my string is gone, or maybe my life's just been to good to get any better.

- So next Delhi, to run some errands and see my fellow fellow friend, who is also from the good ole Washington State, Naina. I also got an unexpected encounter with a past MSID friend, Carissa, who I hadn't seen, well, exactly since the day I received my acceptance letter from AIF. She just happened to be in Delhi the same time as I, getting a work visa in Thailand. It was very excellent to see both.

But, that aside...

- I got screwed by the rickshaw walas, subji walas, the post wala, for every wala there is, chances are I got screwed by them. Added to this continuous chain of screwage was the intense heat of Delhi that I was running around in.

- The only solace that I found in Delhi was at Rodeo's, my favorite bar in the world. It the only place (or at least that I know of) in India where you can get a pitcher of beer served to you by a Indian in complete country/western gear, including red hankerchief ascot, polished boots, and lean black cowboy hat, WHILE sitting on a horse saddle barstool. I have become a bit famous there for my Hindi and since I stop there whenever I am in town I know most all of the bartenders, a few which are from Uttarakhand.

- But no amount of rodeo's can hide oneself from the muck that is the plains. Promptly after leaving Rodeo's, Naina's purse got stolen by two goons on a motorcycle. Ugg.

- And then I got heat exhaustion, spending the night moaning with a headache and body cramps. Apparently, you need to drink a lot of water in the heat when you are walking around, who knew? My temperate Himalaya abode requires very minimal water intake, and the water intaken is not like the yellowish brown sludge that is filled with critters with an itchin to make your stomach explore, nor like the kind that comes in a bottle and costs about a third of an average Indians daily salary.

But I had to move on a get back to the ashram, 55,390,200 kilometers away from India or the cruel, cruel world for that matter, so I pressed on to catch a bus back. What I didn't anticipate was that it is peak season for holy pilgrimage to the bevy of temples in my state, so all of the buses where packed. This roughly translates into smashing yourself into a seat with two other very sweaty people, and having an pot bellied, even sweatier Indian man's pelvis on your shoulder the whole 9 hour journey. Luckily, I had some entertainment, I read the news that was filled with rapes, about how a rape victim had been beaten to near death by the family of the accused raper, about how a family killed their daughter over an affair she had with a low caste man, etc. (My God!) Too much, I had to go to my book. What is that about? A true account of a motherless child who shifted out of an abusive relationship with her father into an abusive relationship with her new husband at the age of 13, also the year she became pregnant with her first child, while she too was a child (although depressing, it gives an amazing subaltern account of courage and strength amongst the many obstacle in place for India's impoverished females. It offers with great articulation and clarity a voice that unfortunately is left unheard, or articulated for. If you get a chance you should hunt down a copy, A Life Less Ordinary by Baby Halder). I thought of all of the 13 year old girls in our school and how with a twist of fate could be married with children and about cried. All of this with a sweaty dudes pelvis on my shoulder, belly on my ear, and a case of heat exhaustion. More or less, I wanted to die.

But as I approached home, I saw one of my favorite kids, Swati, coming down the other direction in a car, When she shot me a big smile on her face after seeing me all of the shit in the world that had acquired in me the past two weeks just melted off. When I finally got to the ashram and met with everybody, then promptly passed out for two days, waking up to the laughter of my fellow ashram mates in the morning, the playful chirps of the darting swallows, and the smell of the freshly blossomed roses and cherry blossoms. Pure heaven, my friends.

Call me an escapist, call me what you want, but nothing is going to get me to go back to the plains in the next three months only out of extreme necessity.

I like it here just fine.

And I am going to miss it terribly when I am gone.